Steve and I are celebrating 10 years married today! I cannot believe how fast the time has gone. A blink of an eye, really, and what a joy ride it has been! I can’t imagine how my parents and Steve’s parents each feel about their 35+ years of marriage and how it probably doesn’t even seem possible. We are thankful every day for those 4 people who found a way to show us for the last 33 years what true love, loyalty, and marriage is all about. We will forever be grateful.
I’m about to get personal and gushy with all of you, which I don’t normally do, so bear with me! I woke up this morning very emotional. When we got married at the age of 23, we were full of wonder, adventure, had no kids, two incomes, were emotional about moving away from family, and had no idea the twists and turns our lives would take. Here I look 10 years down the road, after 6 major moves, 4 houses, 2 kids (15 months apart), losing two dogs, never having the chance to live close to family, and think of not only how hard it has been, but what great joy I find in thinking of all the memories we have shared and how close we have become.
We look so young (and so skinny)!
I think making sound choices throughout life leads to good things. Marrying Steve was the best choice I have made in my life. We are tight, connected in a way that seems almost impossible. Nothing is off limits. We love hard and we fight hard. We’re blessed beyond measure.
Now…..this is not all to say that marriage is bubble gum and roses. I don’t think this could be farther from the truth. Want to test a marriage? Live in a hotel room with two toddlers and two Great Danes for 2 months in a brand new city, and then do it again 16 months later in another new city. Those were not happy times. Saying yes to six major moves? Wouldn’t change it, but each move had its difficult moments. Navigating our emotions after a miscarriage. Flooding a bathtub and delaying a move by 2 months so your house could be repaired? So.not. good. Having a 6 month old baby on your hip while you find out you are pregnant with number 2? Joy, surprise, and sheet panic! Having two kids 15 months apart with no help?? Let’s just say I think there was a period of about a year where I must have been a crazy person. My SC friends, and Steve, can weigh in on that one.
Let’s just be honest and say that marriage is hard. It takes work, and tolerance…
And because I have NEVER nagged my husband in 10 years… :)
And because we have big plans to have this marriage last a really long time…
In honor of 10 years, I have compiled a list of 10 things that I have learned about marriage. . .
1. Marriage is hard work. It just is. You must work at it in order to make it what you dream it to be.
2. Bloom where you are planted. Don’t wish you were someone else or somewhere else. Work with what you have, where you are at, and make it great.
3. Laugh a lot. If you know Steve Larson, you know we laugh a lot. It was the first thing that attracted me to him, and it will always be what I love most about him. Don’t take things too seriously. Life is hard enough.
4. Learn to say you’re sorry. That 5 letter word can work wonders in a marriage. Be humble, forgive, and let it go. Life is too short to hang on to whatever it is you are arguing about at the time (of course, easier said than done)!
5. Go on dates. After kids, it is hard to get away, and babysitters can be expensive. You must make this a priority. I am grateful to my sister for making me realize this! Going out on dates makes you remember why you liked each other in the first place. Day to day life gets routine. Plan something fun!
6. Communicate well. Find times to sit and talk about what the other person needs/wants. Be open. Explain what you need. Men need it. spelled. out. very. clearly. :)
7. Have high expectations for your marriage. We believe it should be a great marriage, so we work towards that. If you believe any less, it will be less.
8. Respect who the other person is. Steve still does things that annoy me, that also annoyed me 10 years ago, and vice versa. We are learning over time that those quirks and things about us are not going to change, so we must accept and be respectful (again, easier said that done)!
9. Show gratitude towards what each person brings to the marriage, home, family life and acknowledge it. Repeat it. Say it often. Everyone wants to be told what a great job they are doing.
10. Show love. Touch. Be nice. Hold hands. Kiss in front of your kids. Show excitement when your spouse walks through the door. Be present. Savor the good times and learn from your mistakes. We are not perfect and that is okay. Pick back up and make things work. No one else can make it great besides you!
Steve is a guy that has learned to put up with my shortcomings. He puts up with my nagging about hanging curtains and shopping for home décor. He is a fantastic father. He has an amazing work ethic that allows me to be home with my kids, the place where I want to be. He does what is right. He is loyal and committed. I’m one lucky gal.
Heading out for a sushi date tonight and celebrating big in a few weeks with a special trip. My heart is so full today. Thanks for letting me get personal and gush about Steve (he doesn’t read, but maybe I should make him today)! xoxo